Prayers Gathered Along the Way - A Memoir Captivating Compelling Letters to God (Journey Conversations)
The author shares her deepest thoughts and communications from her journey conversations with God. Prayers Gathered Along the Way is a compelling, gripping, and mesmerizing collections of letters and conversations that takes you through a journey of prayers collected for the heart, mind, and soul for the purpose to help others who are going through heartache. This book is intended for healing, and moving forward from infidelity, divorce, loss, and grief.
Thinking back to January 2015; I was on the couch with tears in my eyes. I sat and wondered how easy it was for my husband to just walk away from our children and me. I started dwelling on the pains of unfulfilled promises. I began thinking to myself how everything just seemed to be so easy for him while I was all choked up with pain. I just couldn’t explain the situation.
‘Was he that heartless?’
At some point when no one else but me was home, I contemplated committing suicide. However, I knew that’s not what God would want me to do, so I restrained from it. I knew down deep in my mind that God had so much better in store for me even though my heart wanted everything else in me to give up. I could not help but think about all the other women who knew that he was married, but just wanted to break our home ‘What were they thinking of when they all had his children?’
I wondered why any of them didn’t care to think, “Would breaking up a family just be okay.” Now, that my pity-party is all over and I’ve dried up all my tears, I can think clearly. The realization of breaking up our family wasn’t on them, it was on him. Even though I could see God’s blessings upon me and I shouldn’t have complained, the pain had taken over me. Forgiveness was very hard. I spoke often on forgiving the unforgivable, so I had to forgive him. ‘But how would I not have forgiven him?’ I had to.
Mother’s Day was just around the corner, and my thoughts were running crazy. Thinking, I’d wish he would just call me, so I can ignore his phone call. I would say to myself, ‘I’ll ignore his calls’, but when he’d finally call, I would answer. Now, he looks so happy and honestly, I always wanted him to be. I just didn’t understand because I would not have left my husband and our kids for another man. That day, that’s what my thoughts were. The next day, I may be great. No one knows what the following day would be like. I would try to take everything one day at a time. For me, it was just a cycle of confused, then happy. Then depressed. I would try to stay positive and keep smiling. The thing is, whenever I smiled, my chest would hurt so bad so much it seemed like I was going to have a heart attack. I kept thinking ‘how could this be?’ How could this happen to me! I took Pride in my moral beliefs. ‘No way! No how! This is just all a dream.’ I thought to myself; ‘an illusion’. Yes, a dream and I really wanted to wake up from it now. Wait! I can’t sleep. I haven’t been sleeping. This is not a nightmare.
Reality check; ‘my mother is dead, and I’m divorced. Well, life has to go on.’
In my battles of forgiving, letting go and healing for the mind, heart, and soul. Here are prayers I gathered along the way. I hope this helps someone going through a situation that they wish had never come up.