Ginny and Me: Reflections of What God Can Do - Inspirational Memoir (2nd Edition)
Abuse is damaging. It comes from cycles of abusive behaviors learned and repeated through generations. Because of shame and embarrassment, many people do not speak about the cruelty they endured. In my case, most of the abuse I suffered resulted from my mother’s mental illness. For my entire life, people told me to excuse my mom’s abuse because she was mentally ill. However, mental illness does not give anyone the right to abuse you (in particular, your child).
Ginny had childhood paranoid schizophrenia with multiple personality disorder. She lived in the Buffalo State Hospital through her adolescent years. When released from the hospital, she had me. She was twenty-six, and my dad was thirty years older. My mother was white, and my father was black.
As a child, I struggled with my mixed heritage. My mom would tell me that white people did not like me because I was black. Even from a religious standpoint, I was raised as a Catholic and Baptist. On Sundays, my mom and I attended mass without my father and Baptist service with him.
I always felt like I had to choose. Was I black? Was I white? Was I Catholic? Was I Baptist? My mom told me that her side of the family disliked my dad because he was black and my dad’s side of the family disliked my mom because she was white. Here I was stuck in the middle.
I share my life story with the world through God’s glory. My story is about how faith enabled me to overcome extraordinary struggles, pain, and loss. Faith, hope, and forgiving the unforgivable through prayer and trusting in God are the keys to healing.
Hello, sunshine! I see you, beaming down on me today.
I love the heat that you bring and the warmth I feel on my skin.
Looking up at you feels so good.
You brighten up the sky; it brightens my day.
No matter what goes on, I know I will be okay.
Your sunbeams through my window, I can’t go without. I look at the cotton ball clouds next to you and wonder if heaven is behind you, breathtaking for sure.
Beautiful you are just sitting in the sky, way up high, like a gold ring shining down on me.
Your warm rays make the flowers rise, trees bloom, and grass grow high.
Oh, how I hate to see you go down for the day until I wake up again the next day.
God, show me the way to go.
Show me grace; forgive my mistakes.
Show me, Lord, how to walk away when I want so bad to stay.
Show me where to go because I do not know.
Show me, Lord, how to walk in your faith.
Show me how to look straight when I start to drift away.
O Lord, show me my problems so I can change.
After you have shown me all these things, then show me one last thing.
Show me, Jesus, what you need me to do so I can be better for you.